It was shortly after I gave birth to my daughter last year that I was going to meet friends for a relaxing night out. I was running late and scrambling frantically around the house looking for what I am always looking for: shoes, purse, keys, phone. My 6 year old son approaches me hesitantly and asks me to follow him into the back room (the husband's man cave) and the following conversation ensues:
Son - Mom, you need to sit down.
Me - I can't honey, I'm getting ready to run out the door.
Son - No, mom. You need to sit down. This is serious.
I stop briefly to look directly at him.
Me - What is?
Son - I'm scared, mom. I'm scared.
I'm thinking the worst. He's been molested by the meth-addicted (allegedly) dogwalking neighbor or he's hurt his new baby sister ... whatever it was, I could tell it was going to be bad.
Me - Oh, honey, whatever it is, it's okay. You can tell mommy anything and I will always love you no matter what.
Son bursts into tears.
Son - I don't wanna get in trouble mom. I don't wanna get in trouble.
Me - Just tell me and get it over with. Just tell me.
Son - I cut off Wee's tail. (Wee is our 11 year grumpy old man cat).
Me - You what?
Son - I cut his tail off.
Me - Well, how on earth do you know that?
Son - Because it's sitting on the basement steps.
And it was.
Oddly enough, recent statistical data tells us that cat's tails get amputated in basement doors at an alarming rate of 12 per minute.
What is something extraordinary that your child has done that has left you speechless? What is something you did as a kid to leave your mom speechless? POST IT IN THE COMMENTS
The following is the first official executive board meeting of SFTC. If you aren't interested, go straight to comments, and thanks for visiting!
Jill, could you please take minutes? Thank you.
First order of business - Comment replies.
I am two posts behind responding to follower comments. This is due to serious cat illness and lack of sleep from worrying about said cat and whether or not I would have to euthanize my son's beloved pet. (Thankfully, I did not.) I have not done much outside of publishing new posts.
Thank you to everyone who keeps reading and following and commenting despite my lameness! Holy Moley are you commenting! I honestly have the world's funniest and best followers. I read them out loud to my son and we both laugh and laugh. I love it! I promise I will get caught up this weekend, if it kills me! And it very well might.
Second order of business - Following new blogs
I have been having issues following my new followers. For whatever reason when I click on the widget it is not pulling up the follow page so I then go to the top bar and select follow, but that appears to not be working either; therefore, if you are a new follower, and I am NOT following you, please remind me in the comments, or better yet, email me your link, so I can put your URL in my dashboard. That's what she said. Please don't be ashamed to tell me more than once.
Third order of business - Speaking from the Fridge is Dead
I'm killing my series, Speaking from the Fridge, not based on anything aside from having a great deal of difficulty coming up with topics. If I have to think that hard about writing, then it isn't worth it. It just became increasingly difficult to make it even remotely funny and weight loss - it's no joke. I did lose over 10 lbs in the time that I did do it, and I may occasionally blog about weight loss but a weekly series is too much. RIP SFTF.
As a side note, there is a lovely lady, Deborah from Amazing Animal Blessings and Prayers blog who has been a wonderful support during our cat illness, so here's a little shout out to her. As it happens, it is not feline leukemia, just an infection/flea/tapeworm problem, and she is responding well to antibiotics and is finally eating again. Praise Be to God!
59 comments:
I have taken the minutes and will email them to you shortly.
The title made me laugh out loud. It was so funny I typed that all out for you - not just lol.
But seriously? This is a thing? Cats' tails fall off? Number 382 why I will not be getting a cat.
I'm pretty speechless when my son eats his own boogers. But at least he's eating his own and not someone else's.
I never had a cat but we had a dog. I remember now. My son Aria was 4 years old, brushed her hair wrong way..He was holding her tail and pointing the electric socket and said that "mommy look I plugged her tail into this" Kids have good imagination :)
I'd totally cut off cat tails on purpose if I owned one.
WEll...At least he was honest. Growing up I was known as the tail teller (ha! get it? bad joke I know... but I couldn't come up with a funny kid story. I mean mine is only 13 months old and the worst that's happened is that I had to hurdle the couch and then ottoman like Flo Jo to keep Girl from jamming her cute fat finger in the dogs pooper... so see...I got nothin....)
My kid didn't do it, but my dad did. He was leaving the house and closed the garage door like any other day. Cat dumbly decided to try to run back in the garage at the last second and got his leg stuck. It hurts me to even write about it, remember it like it was yesterday. His hind leg was stuck under the garage door. Luckily my brother was home, asleep, and the cat was crying so loudly it woke him up. My brother found him trying to gnaw his own leg off to free himself. He was all bloody and hysterical. He called me and dad and we all met at the vet. It was awful. He survived, but it wasn't pretty. Poor cat. He also later lost an ear and an eye in a cat fight. And lived to tell those tales, too!
Is the cat okay?
Wow! Did he do it on purpose? And what was his punishment?
That is absolutely a new and unique dilemma. I'm pretty sure I can't top that one.
Cant say my kids have done anything like cut a cats tail off. If they have I am blocking it and it should stay hidden.
Thanks for the business report....lol
I guess cats aren't like lizards and grow the tail back. Just tell everyone she's a bobtail cat. ;) Glad shes doing better. Even though I'd like to kill my pissy and poopers, I'm a cat lover!Great blog...you make laugh...and I do mean LAUGH!
I usually respond to comments on the blogs I posted a week ago. I don't know why...I guess I figure this keeps me looping people back around? It's an odd method I came up with at the beginning. I have a system for everything!
I didn't realize cat's tails were so often amputated. Poor kitty! Pets just have to learn to roll with the punches when kids are around!
oh my god. I have 2 cats. But they are tailess. Bobtail cats. I am now super thankful for this.
I'm so sorry! I know it sounds funny, but I'm sure your son is devastated. Good luck. I heart the kitties.
Well, at least the cat still has 8 lives left.
My son was about 8 or 9 when he broke into our own house to go pee. We were outside across the street at a playground and we locked the doors before leaving. Instead of telling me he had to go, he sneaks away and went back to the house and broke out a rear basement window to get in....just to go pee. I was like....WHAT.
As for me, I remember getting out of bed in the middle of the night, going downstairs, opening a kitchen drawer and you got it.....pee pee with my wee wee right into it. Apparently I was sleep walking. My mom heard me and came down midstream and basically let out this blood curdling scream. That's when I woke up.
That poor child. I would've thrown up on myself and then you had that been me in the same situation.
Oh, and poor kitty!
I HATE it when they tell me to sit down - I am always scared of what they are going to say next. But luckily - so far- knock on LOTS AND LOTS of wood - it has just been stuff that is broken and not animals or people.
Aw, gee, seriously? Poor kitty but more importantly, poor, poor, son. I sincerely hope he gets over this trauma. That must have been awful for everyone!
omg i dread something like that happening! but it is sooo funny! my son has yet to do something inflicting permanent pain on a living thing...but i'm sure our time is coming.
I hope your cat recovers quickly. Great title!
When I was little, I tried to de-claw my cat with fingernail clippers. It wasn't too bad - just bled a little.
Your poor cat and your poor son!! Can they reattach it?? Call the docs at Grey's Anatomy!
Wow... your son was of good mind to know he did something really wrong! I remember Mom telling me that she would freak whenever my cousins from Maryland came over. We were told NEVER to slam doors and we didn't but those 4 cousins slammed them constantly. Mom said, "That's how you lose a finger." Years and years and years into the future, when all cousins are adults.. that EXACT thing happened... one of the cousins slammed the door on another cousin's finger and off it went! YIKES! (No, it wasn't me slamming or losing the finger)
Awwww! Your son is so sweet that he cried and got upset for the kitty losing its tail! Thats really interesting that it happens so much with cats tails getting cut off. I remember when I was younger and my little brother threw out cat down the stairs, yeah he is not an animal person!
I hope your cat and son are doing okay after the traumatic experience!
Okay, so I'm still in shock that there are stats about cat tail amputations???! Wowzers! Anyhoo, I was an absolute godsend of a child and did nothing wrong, ever, BUT my youngest brother repeatedly put our kitten in the vegetable drawer of our refrigerator growing up b/c he "didn't want the kitty to get hungry while we were gone all the day". Needless to say, Jessica (said frozen puss) ran away after the 7 or 8th refrigeration. ...if only all Valerie's children could've been perfect like I am...
Poor kitty! My story doesn't involve animals. For awhile my daughter, when put in her crib for a nap that she apparently did not want to take - would take off all her clothes, including diaper and poop in the middle of the crib..nothing say no nap like crap in the crib.
Holly @ 504 Main
I would've taken one look at the amputated cat's tail and puked all over the tail, the steps, and my son! My boys haven't done anything that extreme yet, but it's only a matter of time. I just get to hear a LOT about penises and poop around here. Anything poop or penis-related is pretty popular with the boys in my house! SIGH.
I think cats use their tail for balance. Does he fall over at random?
Congratulations on the health news. It's a very tough thing to deal with a sick pet.
Wow poor cat.
And your poor son too. He must have felt horrible.
Yet another reason why I will be advocating for no cats in our house.
I hope your son wasn't too traumatized.
Um, and who had the pleasure of picking up said tail and "disposing" of it?
Oh you poor son ,he must have felt terrible. Kids magnifying things. Hope your son is doing ok.
Poor cat, as well.
xxx
So I shouldn't be laughing about your cat's tail right?? I didn't think so. Cuz I'm not. Seriously. I just had to ask. The fact that you can even post while you have all this stuff going on is a big deal. Not getting back to comments isn't.
Try clearing your history and cookies and maybe the followers will show up again. I don't know why, but it does that to me and clearing fixes it.
"It's on the stairs."
Oh. my. goddess.
Oh hell, that is a doozy!
My kid peed in his closet for a month because he was too lazy to walk across the hall and go in the toilet. He finally told me after I continued to steamclean his carpets over and over. When I finally got into the closet it was like orange cement.
yummy
My son's favourtie past time is calling me into his room at night to take the humoungous boogers off the end of his finger....gross!!
Seriously, I don't know how you comment on so many people. Do you even go to "Hi over from SITS?" I ignore those ones. Bad blogger!!
Congrats on the 10lb!! I think I gained your 10lb in that time!! Maybe I am supposed to now pass it on!
I looked at the title, and couldn't bring myself to read something about a cat, and a bloody tail...But my curosity got the best of me!!!
That is terrible! I can't believe that!
Our old cat is living on borrowed time...we all love him, and can't bring ourselves to make a "permanent" decision. My husband and I both say, "No-YOU take him in!" and our kids cry....I hate this part of having a pet... :(
Im not a cat person, but I still feel bad for your cat. And your son. He must have felt SO bad.
That really is pretty sad for the cat. There's no topping that over here.
WOW, your the best! First of all I am so glad that Baby Kat is feeling better! Also,thank you for mentioning me!
That is horrible about the tail,I have never heard of such a thing happening.
Thanks again!
I hate how going to work everyday gets in the way of my blog reading and commenting....everyone else has already said all the good stuff. I did have a cat that disappeared for a week once and came home without a tail and missing a lot of fur. The cat never told me what happened, but after some expensive internal reconstruction she lived for a long time.
Holy crap, this is awful! Ummmm... lets see, my mom got horribly pissed once when I ripped the banister off the wall when I was 7.
Sorry for your lil kitty kitty!
READ THIS TOO - ONE MORE THING
THERE IS NO STATISTICAL DATA ON CAT TAIL AMPUTATIONS - I MADE IT UP AND CLEARLY I DID A GOOD JOB B/C SOME OF YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS REAL! YAY ME!
I'm sending loving thoughts to your kitty.
XO
Leigh
PS I wish that we lived in the same town too! I would totally throw my kids at you and fall flat on my face and sleep.
Glad your kitty is feeling better now! Your son must have felt so bad even though he was just trying to help.
I can't think of anything my son has done that left us completely speechless...maybe when he was about 2 he pooped in the bathtub...that was more gross than anything else though :)
I so love that people are believing your "statistical data". CLASSIC :) I'm not a huge cat fan, but I certainly don't wish them to lose their tails. Honesty is a super big deal at our house, too but sometimes it's soooooo hard not to lose it when they tell the truth. It's all a work in progress around here. Hope your night out with the ladies made up for the mishap. Usually works for me!
I have always thought my cat's tail felt a little frail, but really, fur and all, just cuts the skin and everything right off? That is horrible. I can't even imagine what you were thinking.
But the real question is what will you do with the amputated cat tail?
Maybe you should keep it and it will be lucky for you. Kind of like a rabbits foot or something.
Poor kid. I bet he about dropped a load in his pants when he saw kitty's tail sitting there on the staris. Then again, I bet kitty probably dropped a load or two as well.
OUCH!
when I was little, I brought all of the neighborhood kids over and flung open the bathroom door to reveal my nude and very pregnant mother in the bathtub. "See, I TOLD YOU she was pregnant!" I said
She loved to tell that story.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry... having 2 cats, I would be crushed if I crushed their tales.
I was speechless the other day when I thought I heard my 8 month old daughter say, "I love you Daddy." My wife heard it too, and just looked at me, as if to say...
"Don't tell anyone~ they'd institutionalize us both."
(I guess I just told someone, huh?)
-Dayne
How in the heck did he cut the tail off??
The worst my oldest ever did was paint the walls with her poop, yeah that was fun
Oh that is priceless. So here is mine...
I have a cat. She was once a kitten. The only pet in the house.
She was tiny, like 1 lb tiny. I wanted to show her outside. I came back IN through the sliding glass door, and was distracted by my husband, Spaghetti. I shut the glass door and walked twards him.
Only then realizing that the cat was no longer in my arms, and screaming her baby kitten scream.
My bad. I shut her tail in the door, so there she hung, about 3 feet in the air.
Her tail is fine, never broken. Again sorry bout that Boobie (aka Thing 1)
Queen of Feisty
Oh my goodness!
I cant imagine finding a cat's tail on the basement steps...un-attached to the rest of the kitty! Ew!!! I would have had to call someone to take care of that scenario! (Hmm...good thing I am not a surgeon or such!)
Aw...your poor son! And the way you wrote your son and your convo was funny, in spite of the reason for it!
I love that he said "You need to sit down."
Our 3 kidlets are 26, 23, and 19, and throughout the years have left me speechless...but for some reason...those memories are suppressed right now. haha
Blessings & aloha!
(I found you through another and from that one another... )
Your poor cat and your poor son! And while I'm at it, poor you! That's a lot to deal with! I'm glad the cat is doing well now.
As far as leaving me speechless, my son is a teenager. Need I say more? The day he called and said "Mom, can you come and get me? I just totalled my car." would have to be the most shocking. As it turns out, the car was not totalled, just dented. He slid off the road (snow) and clipped a sign. The insurance bill, after adjustments? That left me speechless!
What did you do with the tail?
Because any reputable Chinese restaurant would pay big bucks for that.
Eewwww...poor kitty. I think he will be even more grumpy now. My dd once came down from the bathroom, she must have been 4 or 5 and had this very solemn face and her voice was shaky and she told me there had been a fire. A what!!!??? She explained she put something in the electric socket and it sparked. I just grabbed her and hugged and hugged her. Poor girl was scared to death.
Hi there! Glad your kitty is ok! Poor cat and you and son!! I would have benn freakin like more of a crazy person than I already am,if thats possible!! Heehee!Speechless hmm.I'm thinkin.Oh this is bad. Do not ever say this to your Mom little one.When my son Jason was 12 or 13 he called me a b%#@$! You bet I was speechless then I wanted to hurt him but seriously it was awful! He apologized and I finally forgave but it took awhile.
I am totally speechless right now and can not think of anything Z has done in his 3 years of life that would have left me that speechless. I am sure there is plenty to come though :)
Your poor son! We have our very own grumpy half tailed cat over here. Sinatra. And it was my mother in law who caused his tail amputation. He's never forgiven her, but bless his heart he will let the baby use him as a punching bags. Ain't kitty love grand?
Love your blog and I'm following along now!
OMG you had me about to pee in my pants! Your poor little boy! Your poor cat!
My son leaves me speechless a lot! His most resent time was in the bath last night.
He had been told over and over not to splash the water out. (He fell on his side but naked after a good splashy bath one night. It was really funny now that I think about it! He was ok.) When I told him to get out right this min. he knew he was in trouble. So he said to me... "Mommy I don't want to be bad! Its not my falt. Really I just can't help it.... I just wanted to be a good boy!"
What could I say to that?
Wow, I have no idea of what I would do if my son ever told me that! At least he was honest and didn't just let you find it on your own, right?
Oh my God, this post just had me laughing hysterically to the point that my husband turned and looked at me and thought I was insane. I'm still kind of laughing. By the way, I'm a new follower (for the last several posts or so--I've commented before). My blog is: http://arielleleebecker.blogspot.com
I don't really mind if you aren't interested in following it or not, but I thought I'd comply with your instructions and therefore stay on your good side (I found your blog at the post about hanging little children's nutsacks, haha). :)
Maybe there is a limit on how many blogs you can follow.
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